Day 5 With Dad

—by Nathan on April 23, 2009—

You read the paper today? They have all sorts of news about this "alien destroyer/hero" guy. I guess that means that superhero work is a good idea! Now that I have a costume and gadgets, I need a name: "The Black Alien Beater-Upper Dude?" Nah. Too long. "The Sable Sentry?" That might work. How about..."The Dark Dude?" OK...That's just lame. I sound like some sort of force of evil. Anyway, who cares about names (Even though "The Sable Sentry" is pretty cool)? So, today is the last day of Dad's watching us. And so far? It's been pretty cool. Yeah, my dad found out I was the hero dude, so he's decided to mentor me. Why? I have no idea. Is he some sort of hero too? Maybe he's "The Strange Chef"! He's set up this wacky schedule I need to follow every day:

From 8:00-9:00 I need to exercise.

From 9:00-11:00 is my homework on heroism. He gives me pop quizzes with questions such as "What is the Red Tornado's real name?" or "Who did the Hulk fight in issue 159?".

From 11:00-12:00 is our lunch and relaxation break.

From 12:00-1:00 is more homework, which includes reading my Marvel Encyclopedia, playing Marvel Scene It, and answering his "What If?" questions.

From there? FREE TIME! This is when I go out and bring the smackdown on lousy crooks and bad guys. Today, while on patrol, I faced my first super-powered foe: The Red Banana. Yeah. His power? He shoots GREEN bananas from his eyes. I think he's colored-blind. Anyway, we fought in Naper Settlement, where he was trying to steal a diamond necklace from a guy. Why did a GUY have a DIAMOND NECKLACE? I have absolutely no idea. Well, we fought. He was like "I'm gonna cream you!" And then I punched him and said, "Not unless I turn you into a banana split!" He was out in two punches. Hmm... Banana split...Ha! That's real funny. After that, we had to go pick up my mom, Anna (The real ones), and my grandmother from the airport. When we reached it, we found that they were all captives of the alien super-villain group known as the L.O.S.E.R.S. (Legion Of Shrewd, Evil, and Retarded Supervillains): Eltranz, Velnet, Hungor, Delpo, Yut-Yutz, and Eromog. Transforming into the Sable Sentry (I finally went on that name), I fought them until they fled. Then, I was given the praises of the hostages, gave autographs, and singed a contract with a film company, a toy maker corporation, and Marvel Comics. Life is good.

—Tags: Family, Fantasy, Fiction, Humor

Also read Nathan's blogs at Geeks Under Grace.