The Realm Beyond Reality
—by Nathan on October 19, 2009—
Ever wonder what lies beyond that map you use in Legend of Zelda? Or the stage in Super Smash Brothers? Or the lands heroes like Mario, Sonic, and Rayman traverse? Or, how about this: Where do video game (VG) villains go when they "die"? The answer, my friends, is a simple one: The Realm Beyond Reality. Unknown to many VG gamers and creators, a whole new dimension lies inside that flat disk. It is where villains go when they are defeated, heroes go when they are resting, and where no human has ever traveled. The history of this world has been hidden from all of mankind. Until now...
PLUMBERS ARE FOR MORE USES THAN UNCLOGGING THINGS: What was one of the first game systems made? The Atari thing, right? The black box with the big handle sticking up the middle. That is what the Realm at first looked like. The RBR was crafted back when Mario was created, in the late 80's. See, everyone's favorite plumber was always tired of being bored after saving Princess Peach and kicking Bowser's tail, so he decided to do a little something about it. After extensive hours of learning game programming, he did the following code (or a variation, thereof):
"when action 'game ends' happens, hit command 'rest stop'"
And that's what he did. He created the RBR as a hotel for heroes who felt the weight of saving the world always upon them and needed a break between games. Mario created it to look like the Atari system, and was soon living in the lap of luxury. Other Nintendo heroes swiftly joined. Sonic the Hedgehog. Link and Zelda. Kirby. Captain Falcon. They were all having a blast. The shape of the RBR has also changed throughout the years. It's looked like an Playstation, and X-Box, and even a Wii. What the inside of this hotel for heroes looks like is still a mystery, but extensive research is being made.
EVEN THE BAD GUYS NEED A BREAK NOW AND THEN: There was, however, a slight mistake on Mario's part. He forget to program in villains. Not that they deserved rest, but everyone's equal, right? Shouldn't they have rights? After all, they're getting stabbed, shot, burned, slugged, run over...and then they have to wait in darkness until they're called up again. So they revolted. This was why the first Super Smash Brothers game was made. This was a chance for the antagonists to get vengeance on their foes for this exclusion. Finally, the good guys relinquished half of the RBR to the villains. Hooray! Now Bowser can take a nap before getting whooped by Mario for the millionth time! And Ganondorf can enjoy a round or two of ping pong before going toe-to-toe with Link. And...HEY! NOT EVERYBODY'S HAPPY, BOYOS! Why do the Nintendo guys only get all the fun? What about Ubisoft and all the other game makers out there? Sheesh...this could get hairy.
WE INTERRUPT YOUR DAILY GAMING TO BRING YOU...TOTAL CHAOS!: Rayman was raging. So were all the little LEGO dudes, as well as the titanic tanks in the bombastic BZ Flag. Then there's all those people from the games based off of movies! They all wanted rest. But the Nitendo guys were all "NO! YOU"RE DIFFERENT!" Talk about racism! So, what did these unwanted characters do? They revolted. Behind our backs, they battled. It was worse then the Super Smash Bros. war. Heroes and villains on one side, versus the Nintendo protagonists and antagonists on the other. It was chaos. The war (Known as "The War for Liberty and Rights of Rest and Relaxation") lasted fro about a year. If I could, I'd go into more detail. All I know is that it was ended when an unstoppable, terrifying, and courageous force came to the unwanted ones' rescue:
They stormed in and defeated the Nintendo army. Afterwards, a group of characters from both sides (Including Rayman, Mario, Sonic, And Indiana Jones) signed the Declaration of Resting Independence and the Constitution of the Untied Games of the World. These documents provided a freedom of relaxation for all games, Nintendo and Non-Nintendo.
Peace has settled across the VG galaxy between heroes as the RBR continues to bring in new people. Just how long this peace will last is uncertain, but at least heroes and villains alike can be assured the rest they deserve after gaming. At least everyone has their rights.